Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Untrusting

I have decided that I don't feel comfortable posting on this blog. Dan has already admitted to me that he has logged into my photobucket accounts to look for pictures of him and I don't doubt that he would come here to see what I am up to.

For that reason, I am relocating blogs. (again)
I will contact those who read it to let them know the new blog address when I make it.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Still here

I am still around, I just havent had much time or energy to blog. Most of my apartment is packed up and ready for the move in 11 days. I haven't been able to knit since thats all packed in bins in the living room.

Mainly I have been getting my shit together and reading some "Twilight".

More to come after the move!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Last week I posted about my marriage being over. Dan did arrive in Arkansas, and I requested information from a lawyer to file for divorce. For the most part, things were fine. I mean sure there was stress with him not working, but it was stress we could handle.

Let’s rewind a few weeks. I got off work, got in the car and he asked me to hold a book for him that he had lying on the passenger seat. It was called “How to Survive a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage”. I was shocked. For those that know me, I am not as active in my faith as I should be. However, I believe in God, I believe in the Bible and all that. I just don’t go to church on a regular basis, more of a special occasion deal. Dan was majorly into “worship” yet he never went to church. I was trying to explain to him that I had the same religious beliefs as him and didn’t understand where all that was coming from. He never really responded. The next day, at work, I was thinking about it some more. I talked to him on the phone and he said he felt that if he had known how I was before we got married, he didn’t know if he would have married me. Woah there, I am the exact same person I was the entire time. Nothing about me has changed, except I might have gained a bit more patience. So, I wrote him a letter, calmly explaining that, and it hurts me to know that as my husband he is judging me on how I practice my faith. I busted out a few bible verses, and gave him the letter.

After work, he read the letter, and rather than talking to me, he wrote back. He basically shot down everything I said, ignored the bible verses and to sum it up, he didn’t want to accept me for who I am. So, he packed his bags and was working on getting a bus ticket back to Arkansas. The only problem? He had a way back to Arkansas, but no way to the bus station. I refused to take him. He had no money. He called the taxi company and tried to pawn his wedding band for a ride. Thankfully they turned him down. We sat in separate rooms and I finally got up, went into the kitchen and started making something to eat. He came in, saying if I would hug him, he would stay. So, I hugged him. We agreed we would work on sharing our feelings more, I would be more willing to attempt to go to this church he wanted to try out, and he would work on accepting things I like as well.

That lasted for about 2 ½ weeks. Things were going great. We were looking at apartments together, we were about to take a second look at the apartment we both loved. I had talked to him on the phone from work, he was all excited. Couldn’t wait to start furniture shopping. Two hours later, he picks me up from work, and decides he no longer wants to be married.

We went to my mother’s (because they were going with us to look at the apartment). Rather than Dan joining us for the second look, we left him outside my apartment and went to look at it ourselves. My mom and stepdad lent me the money for the deposit, and I move in on March 28th. When I got back home, Dan was waiting. He walked over to us and struck a deal with my parents. If they gave him money for his bus ticket and a ride to the bus station, he wouldn’t go after me for half of the income tax. All he wanted was his clothes, his computer and his cell phone. They talked it over and agreed, so off he went.

We spoke over the weekend. He told me he’s sorry for being a jackass, but he feels he never truly loved me in that way. He partially came here for a place to live, and partially getting over his ex girlfriend.

Now I am left here, wondering for the rest of my life, why a person who doesn’t love another, would promise to spend the rest of their life with them in front of family, friends and God.

I am slowly dealing with it. I have days where I cry, and days where I can smile and laugh again. Ideally I would like to be his friend, in the distant future, I just can’t right now.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Funny Twist of Events

I'll make this short and sweet.
My marriage is over.
He is on his way to Arkansas as I type this.

The End.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Great Apartment Search

Saturday Dan and I went to go look at an apartment down town. It had its good points and most definitely its bad points as well.

Good:

-The original woodwork, cabinets, hardwood floors from over a hundred years ago.
-A Terrace in the back of the apartment to relax on.
-French Doors

Bad:

-Bad neighborhood
-Landlady seems kinda....bitchy?
-Rooms are way too small
-No counters in the kitchen
-The only cabinets in the kitchen are way too tall, wouldnt be able to reach them
-Fire station right around the corner. (sirens at 3 am no ty)

Needless to say, the bad outweighed the good and we wont be taking that apartment.

After work today, we stopped by another place that's for rent. This one was on the south side of town. One bedroom, heat included. While the bedroom was still on the smaller side, our bed would fit so I'm fine with it. The living room is a decent size. The bathroom is HUGE, and the kitchen is decent as well. Plus, it also comes with the 3rd floor attic for storage. There is electricity up there, but no heat. Either way, we can finally have a place to put all of our things! We can even set aside a corner to stash my yarn!

All we have to do now is try to come up with the security deposit. I just paid rent for our current place and don't have enough to cover it at the moment. Here's hoping we come across some money so we can get a new place to live before the land lady kicks us out!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

February Song

I can't believe that February is already over halfway over. The weather has been tempermental. One day its cold and snowy, the next day its in the 50's and 60's. Right now we are back to the cold cycle with the occasional snowfall. What does this mean in the Lopez household? It means that I am forever wanting to just stay under the blankets with my favorite mug and sipping some hot tea or hot chocolate. I would much rather spend my days reading or knitting. Instead I have to suck it up and face reality. I have not won the lottery yet. I am not an heiress and I am not disgustingly wealthy. So, for now, I have to wake up each morning, drag myself to the bathroom to get ready for the work day. I get to work and immediately head straight to the soda machine so I can get caffeine in my system as soon as humanly possible. I sit at my desk for 8.5 hours a day. For about 4 of those hours I bust my butt and get my work done. The rest of the time is spent doing other people's work for them. I come home, either cook dinner or relax in the kitchen with Dan while he cooks dinner. We eat, clean up dishes and spend the next few hours watching tv or a movie, while I sit and knit up whatever project is on the needles at that time.

Dan is still out of work. He is spending a few hours a day filling out applications and trying to find any type of job he can get. At this point, he is even willing to work 3rd shift.

I keep trying to save money wherever I can but still allow myself to splurge on yarn once in awhile. We quit smoking, we quit playing Maple Story. I figure I can allow myself to buy a few skeins of the cheap yarn each pay and once in a verrrry great while let myself buy the real good yarn.

Tonight, I have to go to AC Moore to pick up some baby yarn. A co-worker approached me last week. A friend of hers recently found out she is having a baby and the co-worker would like me to knit a blanket. She's paying for the yarn and to reimburse me for my time, she will be getting me 1 skein of yarn for myself for every skein of yarn I use on the project. I basically got creative freedom. I was able to choose which pattern I want to use and I suppose I get to pick which yarn to knit it out of. I am thinking Red Heart Baby since she requested something Gender Friendly. She asked for something that had pink. blue, green and yellow all in one. AC Moore has Red Heart on sale this week, so after a few washes in fabric softener when its complete, we will have ourselves a winner!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Irish Hiking Hat Madness


After making myself the Irish Hiking Scarf, I found a new love for cables. I wanted to knit myself a hat that would go with the scarf, but not the same color. Lately I have been into rich tones. Oranges, Purples, Reds. I knit myself this hat and love, love, love it. Since completing it, I noticed a co-worker's hat. It's black and severely worn and pilled. Friday I decided that I would surprise her and knit a new black hat for her. Again, the Irish Hiking Hat. I had it half way done, when Dan requested the same hat, same color. I don't mind knitting with black, but I was hoping for a bit of a change. No biggie, I told him I would be able to start it in a few days. Yesterday, I was on lunch at work, when Maryanne had asked me to knit her a hat. AGAIN with the Irish Hiking Hat, and AGAIN in black! Argh. Today I finished Angela's hat and cast on Dan's. From now on, if anyone requests the Irish Hiking Hat, I will notify them that I can do it, as long as it isn't black. I need colors!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Clean Lungs=Clean Apartment?

Two weeks ago Dan and I decided it was time to quit smoking. We finished off our last pack, and stopped cold turkey. For the most part, we have been ok. We have random cravings, but they fade fast. I found for me, the best cure is knitting, rather than eating. So yay for not gaining weight when I quit smoking! Dan has also picked up his own little craft. He mentioned that he used to do latch hook when he was a kid, so the other night when we had to go on a yarn run, we picked him up a latch hook kit to work on. I joked with him saying when we find a new place, we need to find a place that has space for 2 craft corners now. (not that I mind)

With quitting smoking, comes the family being every shade of proud. The first phase with my mother when she heard we quit, was her inviting us over for dinner on a regular basis. Making sure to fill us up with her delicious cooking.

Saturday, she informed us of the next phase. Today, while I was at work....her and my stepdad came over and helped Dan clean the entire apartment. We are talking, baseboards, every teeny nook, ALL OF IT. Now please realize, I am not a princess. I don't expect my family to be responsible for our mess. With my horrid packrat ways, this place was in pretty bad shape. Six hours after they arrived, the place sparkles! I am eternally grateful to my mother for spending her Monday afternoon over here, making my life easier. It's so refreshing to come into the apartment and not smell the lingering stench of stale cigarette smoke.

Now, since Dan is home during the days, still struggling to find a job, I made a list of daily tasks to ensure that the apartment stays clutter free.



Eventually, I would like to replace the bedframe and get something that hurts less when bumping into it in the middle of the night. I also need to get some picture frames to hang up a few more posters I have. I also need to get rid of the loveseat and the chair in the living room and see if I can take advantage of some furniture stores in the area closing down.

Another mild problem area is in the kitchen. We have a lack of cabinet space and too many mugs to fit in them. Does anyone have any decent looking, low budget friendly storage solutions for coffee mugs?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

January Goals

January was a mixed month for the goal completion. While I did finish organizing the craft corner, the knitted hearts deadline failed me. I think rather than giving some to the entire department, I might just give the few I got done to my friends that I sit with at lunch.

However, let's take a look at the organized corner:

First up, I organized the book case that is above the built in desk. Now it contains all of my knitting books, rather than just random magazines and catalogs I never sorted through. The little gray box had originally came with my "Lovely" perfume set, but now it is the home for my stitch markers, tape measures and stitch holders. The top shelf holds random craft books and embroidery patterns.










Here we have the built in desk:



I have my toolbox filled with scrapbooking supplies, knitting needle holder, thread basket and my basket of WIP's. Underneath the built in desk is my yarn stash (not shown in a photo).

Just think, in a few months, all this will be packed up and re-arranged in a new place. :)

Thanks for having me back...

The past week has been TORTURE! I never realized how much I depend on the internet until this past week. Luckily I was able to leech off of the occasional wireless connection in the neighborhood, however it was far from smooth sailing. Everytime it would connect, it would disconnect since the signal was too far away. It made it very difficult for looking up patterns in Ravelry.

So, what is a girl to do with no internet and no cable for a week? Knit of course! I knitted up a kitten for a girl's birthday at work (sadly, I didn't take any pictures). I also made a baby hat (again no picture) and then with the cold weather, Dan requested I knit him a hat.

So, I got that done and now I have been exploring with cables more. Right now I am about to cast on the Irish Hiking Hat. I was working on a sample one just to get myself familiar with the pattern, however I will be frogging it since its yarn I completely hate. (received as a gift one year)

Other than knitting, we have spent alot of time with my mother. We went over on Saturday and watched "Swing Vote". If you haven't seen it, it's a cute movie.

We also decided that while we do eventually want to move to Arkansas, with the economy in the shape it's in, we shouldn't plan on moving there at this time. Instead we will do our best to find another apartment in the area, save up for a year or two and THEN make the move. Now if the apartment search fails, that's a different story I guess. There was one apartment I found in center city. It's gorgeous on the inside, I just don't know how comfortable I feel living in that neighborhood. I guess it all comes down to how desperate I get, right?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Also on a momentary pause

Like a fellow friend of mine, I too will be taking a week and a half of absence from the internet. Things should be back to normal in 2 weeks at the latest. Stay tuned c:

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Lazy Days

Sorry I haven't been blogging much. With the cold winter, I haven't done much of anything. I have about 3 weeks to go on the hearts project and I haven't even begun yet. I guess that's what Sundays are for :)

I have spent alot of my time playing around on the internet, finding new patterns that I want to eventually knit.

Meh, I will try to post more often. Lets hope things start to get interesting or I at least get some knitting done so I have something to post about :P

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Goals

Today started off rather dull. Hubby and I slept in, ate some breakfast and were just bumming around for the first half of the day. I decided since we were bored, it was the perfect day to work on my project for January. I wanted to clean/organize my craft area. After about 2 hours of cleaning, frogging projects I know I will never complete and moving all of my knitting books to the proper area, the Craft Corner now looks amazing! (will take pictures another day).

Next up on the goal list is to knit up some little somethings for the girls at work. Since I will only be there a few more months, I wanted to give them a little something for Valentine's Day. I have a month and a half to knit up 12 little hearts. It can easily be done.

Tonight's agenda? Catching up on reading some blogs, finishing off Calorimetry Number 2 and maybe watching some cute, corny movie. I'm thinking "Cinderella Story".

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Welcome 2009!

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a safe and wonderful New Years Eve!

Hubby and I didn't do much for the night. We went out for steak and shrimp at Applebee's then headed home for a quiet night in. We watched Kung Fu Panda and then watched the ball drop. Not exactly an eventful night, but it was perfect for us.

2008 was packed with all sorts of things going on. My cousin got married, then a few weeks later we got married. Hubby lost his job, I got a raise.

2009 should be different. Between moving halfway across the country and leaving my job in a few months, to adjusting to the move and challenging myself on knitting more than stockinette stitched projects.

Speaking of projects, I got the Irish Hiking Scarf completed yesterday. I measured yesterday at work and realized it was long enough, so I finished up to the 7th row in the pattern and voila! It's done! It was definitely a good scarf project and I believe I will knit more of these throughout the year. I modified it a bit since I was using bulky yarn. Instead of having the 3 cables like the original pattern, I went with just the 2 cables. Length wise, it goes to my waist, after being completely wrapped around my neck. Its so warm and soft!




Next up on the needles is Calorimetry. I have some worsted weight wool yarn that my mom and stepdad picked up for me in Alaska a few years ago. They only brought back one hank, 50 grams, 75 yards. Not enough for a full hat, and for a few years I have been trying to think of the perfect project to use it up. Once that's done, I can work on my gifts for next Christmas, along with a side surprise project for my co-workers.

Happy New Year everyone!